The Break Fast Club
Charlie and Ryan had been into gaining for years. The two gay boys came across the phenomenon while searching for videos of bigger men on Pornhub. Only then were they able to give a label to what they and their friends had been feeling for years. Discovering that what they had been doing silently was in fact natural, was a major relief for the both of them, allowing them to finally discuss their feelings about their bodies. Before that it had always been unspoken.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“Pass the sugar, please.”
Ryan slid the glass bowl to the other side of the table.
“Thanks.”
Charlie dunked his tablespoon into the bowl and sprinkled a more than generous amount of white sugar onto his Frosties.
“Charlie!”
It was Ms Cumbersome who spoke: “How many times have I told you! The sugar is only for the tea! Frosties are already covered with sugar!”
“Sorry, Miss.”
With the teachers back turned both boys snickered and Charlie added a second tablespoon of sugar to his cereals in spite. Ryan smiled at Charlie, motioned for him to pass the sugar bowl back to him, and sprinkled a heaped spoon of sugar on top of his Coco Pops causing Charlie to almost spit out his breakfast with laughter.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“I read online that skipping breakfast leads to weight gain.”
“That’s gotta be bullshit! How on Earth can eating less cause you to gain weight?”
“Apparently, you don’t eat less, you eat more. Cos you go hungry until later in the day your body craves larger amounts of foods and more sugars, so you’re more likely to overeat at lunch and choose unhealthy foods.”
“I don’t buy it. Surely you’d be better to eat a big breakfast and then have lots of sugars and fats for lunch anyway?”
“Well yeah, but most people don’t do that.”
“Oh, yeah! I guess I was just thinking about myself.”
“Not everyone is a gainer Charlie.”
“They should be, it’s awesome!”
“Do you think we’d weigh more now if we never went to breakfast club?”
“Hell no! What are you on about? Breakfast club was the best! It was the only part of school that I ever liked!”
“Yeah, but, maybe we would have eaten more at lunch instead?”
“And how would we have done that? We never had any money! That was why we were in the breakfast club in the first place! And that fuckin’ Ms Cumbersome, she never allowed us to go for thirds! Breakfast club was our saviour!”
“It was pretty damn sweet!”
“Too right! I owe at least half of my belly to that club!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“Now class, from next week the school will be initiating a new morning breakfast club. It will be open from 7.30 for 30 minutes every day before school.”
“Can anyone go, Miss?”
“No, Daniel. The breakfast club is only for children whose parents are not currently working.”
“Like Charlie, Miss? He’s well poor!”
“Oi! Shurrup you ginger dick!”
“Now Charlie, there’s no need to be offensive.”
“But, Miss, he said that I was poor!”
“There’s no denying reality Charlie. You, Ryan, Charlene, Debbie, Derek, Mercedes, and Zach, are all encouraged to attend.”
“Do I have to, Miss?”
“Yes, Mercedes. Why do you think it’s important?”
“I dunno.”
“It’s important that all children are able to eat properly and get the sustenance that they require. Unfortunately due to economic circumstances some families are not able to provide their own children with three good meals a day. That is why the school is going to help.”
“But Charlie’s well fuckin’ fat miss!”
“Don’t swear, Daniel!”
“Fuck you Daniel! I’m gonna knock your ginger pubes off!”
“Wanna try? Fatboy!”
“Boys! Be quiet!”
“Sorry Miss.”
“Sorry Miss.”
“Daniel actually makes a good point. Childhood and teenage obesity levels are higher amongst the poorer segments of the population. This is due to a lack of education amongst parents and a lack of access to healthy foods in deprived areas.”
“Charlie’s fat and deprived! Charlie’s fat and deprived!!”
“I’m gonna kill you and your Mum, you fucking ugly ginger twat!”
“Charlie!! That’s not acceptable! You can’t react like that, even when provoked. Go to Mr Dean’s office immediately!”
“See you later fatboy!”
“Fuck you, Daniel!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“You know, Charlie, maybe we should start our own breakfast club? It might help with the gains?”
“That’s a great idea! We could call it the Break Fast Club, as in breaking fast after being asleep.”
“I know what to break fast means.”
“I wish that I could eat while I was asleep.”
“Don’t lose focus fatty! This is actually a good idea. I’ll snap Derek and Zach, see if they wanna join in.”
“Cool, my stomach’s rumbling already!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“I don’t understand this, Ryan. Did your parents not get the recommended food list that I sent them?”
“Yes, Nurse Rachide, they got it.”
“Have they, have you, been following it?”
“Yes, I’ve been eating everything on the list every day.”
“Ryan! That’s 32 items!”
“But, you said that I needed to eat them, to be healthier!”
“Not all at once! That list was supposed to be a recommendation for what to eat over a whole week.”
“Oh. Do you think that’s why I’ve gained weight?”
“Erm… Yes!”
“Oh.”
“Look, Ryan, you and your parents need to take this more seriously. Obesity at your age can lead to all sorts of medical complications in later life.”
“I take eating very seriously.”
“I’m going to ignore that. I’m also going to email your parents to express my continuing concerns and reinforce that they follow the recommended weekly plan.”
“Ok.”
“Can I just check that I have the right email address as it’s an unusual name and they haven’t responded to my last three emails?”
“No problem.”
“I have, I’m gonna spell this out: S-U-K-M-E-B-A-L-Z at gmail dot com, is that right?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Really? It’s a very strange name.”
“It’s my Dad’s name. He’s Croatian.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that.”
“Shall I send Charlie in next? He’s waiting outside.”
“No. Can you ask him to come back in half an hour? I think I need a break.”
“No worries, that’ll give us time to go to the shops!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“Oh wow, Charlie! Look at the size of you! You look like you’ve eaten a watermelon!”
“Thanks Zach! But I’d never go anywhere near anything so low in calories nowadays!”
“Haha, I can tell! So who else is coming to this breakfast club?”
“Break Fast Club, and it’s you, me, Ryan, and Derek, just like the old days.”
“No invite for Ms Cumbersome then?”
“Haha no! This time there’ll be no one to limit our intake!”
“Sounds wonderful. Didn’t you know that missing breakfast, though, is actually supposed to aid weight gain?”
“Not you as well! That’s only if you don’t eat like a king to start with. The idea here is that we start every day exactly as we mean to go on!”
“You’ll be huge!”
“We’ll all be huge!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“Ryan! Put that cake down! Charlie! What do you think you’re doing with that ice cream?”
“We were still hungry, Miss!”
“You know you’re not allowed in the kitchen by yourselves boys.”
“Sorry, Miss. It was Derek’s idea!”
“Derek’s not even here!”
“Erm, yeah, yeah Derek’s not here!”
“Derek! Derek McThundersoft! Come out from wherever you’re hiding!”
“He’s not here, Miss.”
“Don’t lie to me, Charlie. Derek! Derek, come out!”
“Ryan, tell me where Derek is right now or there’ll be no lunch for you today!”
“He’s in the cupboard eating Cheerios and chocolate milk, Miss.”
“You snitch! She would never have found me!”
“She forced me to, Derek, she forced me to!”
“Boys, we need to do something about this obsession that you all seem to have with food. It’s not ok to come in here and steal and eat whatever you want.”
“But, Miss, you said that breakfast club was so that we all got a proper meal to start the day. You said that it was very important that we don’t come to school hungry!”
“It is boys, but you guys seem to have taken it to the extreme. The school doesn’t have unlimited supplies of food to give you. Breakfast club is for children who don’t get any breakfast at home. You’re only supposed to have a bowl of cereals.”
“What? So I can’t come anymore?”
“What? No, Charlie, you can still come. Your parents haven’t found any work have they?”
“No, Miss, they’re still on the dole, but I did have breakfast at home this morning. I always have breakfast at home before breakfast club.”
“What? You mean to say that you’ve been having two breakfasts every morning for the past year?”
“Well, yes, Miss.”
“My God! No wonder you’re so damn fat!”
“Hey!”
“Sorry, Charlie, that was out of tone, but honestly, I think all you boys need to see Nurse Rachide, there’s something very funny going on here and I don’t think it’s healthy. Now get yourselves to class.”
“Yes, Miss.”
“Yes, Miss.”
“Yes, Miss.”
“And Ryan?”
“Yes, Miss?”
“I said to put that cake back!!”
“Shit! Yes, Miss.”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“Pass the bacon, please Derek?”
“Sure, here you go, Ryan. Can you pass me the pancakes?”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“Can I also get some more pancakes?”
“Of course, Charlie!”
“Do we have any maple syrup?”
“It’s here.”
“Thanks, Zach.”
“Are there any eggs left?”
“Do you want scrambled or fried, Zach?”
“Both!”
“Here you go. All the eggs for fatboy Zach!”
“You can speak for yourself Derek McThundersoft! I’ve seen how many rashers you’ve pigged down already!”
“Oink, Oink! I thought the whole idea of Break Fast Club was to eat as much as possible!”
“It is Derek, and to tease each other about how fat we’re all getting!”
“Getting? There ain’t no getting fat for you Charlie boy! You were always fat!”
“I’m going for the world record longest gestation period. So far I’ve been nursing this food baby for twenty two years and seven months!”
“No wonder your belly is so fuckin’ huge, Charlie. That food baby must be fuckin’ massive by now!”
“And still growing!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“Before we finish, Miss Bucketbelly, I’d just like to have a quick word about Charlie’s participation in the pre-school breakfast club.”
“What ‘bout it?”
“It’s recently come to my attention that he’s been eating breakfast at home before attending the club.”
“And? I looks after me boy, what’s wrong wiv dat? I int like dese otha parents ont estate who don’t give a shit! I feeds me boy!”
“Yes, and that’s very commendable. However, if Charlie’s eating breakfast at home then he doesn’t really need a second breakfast at school does he?”
“Int ‘e got a right to it? I tought dat ‘e ‘ad a right to it. It’s ont social, right?”
“Yes, Charlie has a subsidised place on the scheme and he has a legal right to attend.”
“Why shouldn’t ‘e den? I’s a single Mum. I can’ts afford t turn down free food!”
“This is a sensitive topic, Miss Bucketbelly, but you are aware that Charlie is severely overweight, aren’t you? Nurse Rachide has been in touch, right?”
“You callin’ me boy fat? Charlie said dat you called ‘im fat!”
“Let’s try not to make this personal, please. I can assure you that I would never refer to a child as fat, however, the nurse’s report has made it clear that Charlie would benefit from losing a significant amount of weight and I just thought that skipping breakfast club once in a while might aid with that.”
“You’s is callin’ ‘im fat! I knews it! You’s is as bad as dat Nurse Rachel! She was also callin’ ‘im fat! Leave da poor boy alone! It’s just a bita puppy fat!”
“Miss Bucketbelly, please, Nurse Rachide seems to think that Charlie has an unhealthy relationship with food, that he is overeating to compensate for something missing in his life.”
“You’s dink’s dat I’s a bad Mum! You’s a bad teacher! Charlie has rights to da breakfast club, primes minister said so! Are you’s da primes minister? Are ya? Are you’s da fuckin’ primes minsiter?”
“No, Miss Bucketbelly, I’m not the prime minister.”
“No’s you’s not! Charlie will be at da breakfast club in da morning as usuals! And don’ts you’s be tryin’ ta tell ‘im what’s he can and canny eats!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“Fuck me, I’m full!”
“What have you had in total now, Charlie?”
“Bacon, eggs, fried and scrambled, I don’t like poached, pancakes, Frosties, croissants, fruit, yoghurt, orange juice, apple juice, tea with six sugars, and four muesli bars, for my digestion!”
“Wooh! Break Fast Club sure is doing a number on you!”
“Is that food baby due any time soon?”
“No, Derek, I think it wants to gestate for at least another fifty years!”
“Lol, you ain’t making it to over seventy you fat fuck! None of us are!”
“Not if we keep eating like this, Zach!”
“How much have you had, Ryan?”
“Four pancakes, six slices of french toast, two bowls of porridge, and a pint of mango smoothie.”
“Nice! That’s way more than we ever got at school!”
“Yeah, but it don’t feel as good, somehow.”
“That’s cos there’s no one here to tell you off!”
“What, Charlie?”
“Overeating feels better when it’s naughty. When you know that you’re not supposed to be doing it. All of us are egging each other on which is great, but it’s not the same feeling as when you know you shouldn’t be doing it. That’s what I think, anyhow.”
“Charlie misses Ms Cumbersome! Now I would never have guessed that!”
“I guess it just felt cooler with a nemesis.”
“We can’t invite her though, can we?”
“Of course not, Derek! Why the fuck would she come?”
“What about Daniel?”
“That’s a good idea, Zach! He was always having a go at me for being fat and poor. Let’s invite him and then stuff our fat faces till we’re ready to burst!”
“Yeah, Charlie, let’s do that. I can’t wait to see the look on his ugly ginger face when he sees how fat you are nowadays!
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“Oh God, what is he doing here? I thought he was too rich for breakfast club?”
“His dad has paid for him to eat breakfast at school. Something about having to start work earlier now.”
“I didn’t know you could do that?”
“He can, he’s Ms Cumbersome’s pet.”
“Hey fatboys! Enjoying the free food that my dad’s taxes paid for?”
“Fuck off Daniel you ginger ballsack!”
“Wooh Charlie! Chill out big boy! I just wanted to sit and eat a little breakfast with you, well, I’ll eat a little breakfast, I guess you’ll just fill your fat face till your fat arse rips another pair of trousers!”
“That only happened once!”
“Yeah, Daniel! That only happened once!”
“You can’t say anything, Ryan. Is that a beach ball that you swallowed or are you just that fucking fat?”
“Fuck off Daniel!”
“Hey, I saw your Mum the other day Charlie, and guess what?”
“What!?”
“She’s also fucking fat! Like a fucking double decker bus! I used to wonder how any woman could give birth to a kid as fat as you, but now I know how, she must have just shit you out of her giant flabby arse!”
“That doesn’t even make any fucking sense you ginger nob rash!”
“Nor does weighing more in stone than your age, yet you manage to do that year on year!”
“Fuck off Daniel!”
“Yeah, Fuck off Daniel!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.
“Urh! Fuck me Charlie, your arse is so fucking round and soft!”
Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.
“Gnghh! Just how you like it!”
Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.
“Oh, God yes! I can’t believe how fucking fat you’ve become!”
Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.
“Oohhh! And only getting fatter!”
Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.
“Hell yes! I’m going to come to every breakfast and see that you eat more and more every single day!”
Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.
“Do it! Feed me every delicious treat until my belly is too big to hold on to!”
Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.
“Urh! Then I’m gonna fuck you like this, harder and harder…”
Fwap, Fwap, Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.
“Fuck me you ginger cunt! Empty your ginger nutsack deep in my fat heavy ass!”
Fwap, Fwap, Fwap, Fwap, Fwap, Fwaapp!
“Aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!”
“Oh, wow, that was the one, Daniel. You fuck so damn good!”
“And you take it like the prized pig that you are, Charlie Bucketbelly! God, you’ve always been so fucking fat!”
“And you’ve always loved it!!”